As you know, it’s Christian Girl Autumn. It’s done double Christian Girl Autumn, since the United States was in full lockdown mode for last year’s festivities. Anyway, a very happy Christian Girl Fall to all who are celebrating. Of course, Christian Girl Autumn is not so much a season as it is a vibe; perspective; a way of presenting yourself to the world. But you hardly need these instructions. You already know Christian Girl Autumn well. So there is only one question: How many of those classic Christian Girl Autumn things have you done to bring this season?

Boycott the resident Evil franchise until they change the name to The kindness of the residents

Pumpkin Spice Toothpaste

Guess everyone’s Enneagram on Squid game

Leave a trail of Harry Potter books from your front door to a giant hole in the ground to trap the devil

Adapt the set God is not dead franchise in a musical

Chaperone Unruly Teens at Church Harvest Festival Party

Make fun, seasonally appropriate masks from fall leaves

Facebook hack to delete whole site for almost a day

Carving a pumpkin with Brené Brown’s face

Reading This darkness presents to all the children in the neighborhood

Filming a two-hour YouTube documentary on how Folklore concerns the Second Coming

A trendy hat with a brim wide enough to protect your identity from government drones

Prove once and for all that Bigfoot exists and that it is pro-culture cancellation

Build your own fully functional Imagination Station

Teaching the Super Smash Bros. to talk about their differences and forgive each other

Sing “Shout to the Lord” at local karaoke four times in a row in one visit

Writing a 45,000-word defense by Peter Jackson The Hobbit trilogy

Take a fall vacation to the beach that makes you old

Email Sufjan Stevens a dropbox link for Massachusetts, your demo of 18 songs in tribute to Bay State

Handing out chick fliers instead of candy on Halloween

– – –

GOAL

1 -7: Fall season? More like chess season. Try a few other Christian Girl Autumn activities, then come back for another whirlwind.

See also

8 – 15: The temperature cools down, but you heat up.

16 – 20: You are the biggest pumpkin of all.


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