The post office: January 15, 2015 Locker room shuffle
The catch: “(Rex) Ryan’s opening press conference with the Bills was very impressive. He looked like old Rex again, overflowing with confidence and swagger, all lifted up with a healthy sense of humor. He has vowed to make the Bills a “bully,” a team no one will want to play. I believe him.
Analysis: Of all the Jets coaches in Not A Blog history, Rex Ryan may be Martin’s favorite. He thinks (quite accurately) that Ryan hasn’t been shaken up well in New York. But things in Buffalo didn’t go well for Ryan either. He was fired after two seasons and a 15-16 record.
The post office: March 15, 2013 – Free Agency Follies
The catch: “Oh, and the Patriots… what a nasty thing Evil Little Bill (Belichick) is. The way he treated Wes Welker is shameful. Man has absolutely no loyalty to anyone. Look and see, when Tom Brady’s talents start to fade – and they will, it happens to all of them – Evil Little Bill will kick him out as well.
Analysis: I have no doubt that George was right that Bill Belichick would send Tom Brady to pack his bags when his talents began to fade. Where George went wrong, however, is that Tom Brady’s talents are never going to fade. He will never retire or even die. Brady left Belichick and New England in 2020 on his own … and quickly won a Super Bowl in Tampa Bay.
Jets or giants: which team makes GRRM more miserable?
Treat me to one last piece of George RR Martin NFL absurdity. Every now and then Martin will start or end one of his football blog posts with the phrase “Life is meaningless and is full of pain” (sometimes he swaps “miserable” for “insignificant” ).
It is a notion that many sports fans should be familiar with. Above all, following a professional football team is an endless series of misfortunes and disappointments. And since Martin supports two NFL teams, he experiences twice as many disappointments. But which New York football franchise is causing George the most pain? To find out, I followed every “Not A Blog” post that had the phrase “life is meaningless / miserable and full of pain” and found out which team made their life miserable. Most often it was both teams, but sometimes only one team was guilty. The final count is:
- New York Giants = 25 blog posts mentioning “life is meaningless and full of pain”.
- New York Jets = 23 blog posts mentioning “life is meaningless and full of pain”.
That’s a pretty surprising result considering the Giants have actually won two Super Bowls since Martin blogged. But it turns out the pain runs deeper than the victory.